still remains

I have been away at college for about a month and so much has changed in me and in the people around me. I am so glad to say, though, that what I had between one of my very best friends hasn't changed. Shawna came to Indiana this past weekend and we got to hang out some. It was so much fun. We didn't really do anything, but both of us are pretty much content with hanging out. I am so thankful to God that Shawna is part of my life. She is one of the kindest people I know. I can't even imagine what I would be like if I hadn't known her for the last 4 years. She has pulled me out of my comfort zone, challenged me, shown me God's love and just been there for me pretty much since I've known her. I would definitely not be as secure in myself or in Christ if it wasn't for her. She has let God use her so many times to get things through to me. She is someone I can talk to about anything and that means a lot to me. I miss her a lot, but I have comfort in the fact that she is still the person I love, and will always a friendship with.

the week after

I love what God showed me last week, but sometimes it's hard to endure the week after. I love being in those moments when I feel God's presence and His love, and it's so evident. I am captivated by it. It's indescribable. Then comes the week after, when I still want to have that passion burning in me but I don't know how to keep it. I want those warm fuzzies.
I was sitting here thinking about what God showed me last week and realized that this is when it begins. Right here where there is no one telling me inspirational things, right here when there is no worship band to usher me into God's presence. This time, when I don't necessarily feel very spiritual or passionate, is the moment that God wants me to enter into His presence. This is when it will have to be ALL about Him because I have nothing to gain. I probably won't get any warm fuzzies, and I know I'm not going to start preaching inspirational sermons to myself. So, this is when He will get the true, pure, authentic praise.

Amazing

God is so AMAZING! I have been at college exactly 13 days and he has shown me more than I could have ever imagined he would. He's opening my heart to his truths...the ones I listen to all the time but am unwilling to hear, to ACTUALLY HEAR. He has revealed himself to me in new ways and I love it. He has even provided opportunities for me to talk to people about him. Every day he confirms his call on my life. It's still been hard. I miss people a LOT, the academic part is tough and I'm still getting ajusted to living with a roommate but through all of this change he is showing me his face and drawing me near to him. That is more important to me than living in my comfortable room with all my friends around and not being accountable to a professor...

The Journey

I'm really getting settled in here. I even called it home today! That was weird! But seriously God has been showing me so many things about my future already! I went to a little get together at Adam and Mindy Pierce's house and they had a missionary come in and speak about what God is showing her and how he has impacted her and changed her thought process. She shared some stories that were devistating about other cultures she has been to. She was talking about how God is just telling her to seek Him, ask Him questions, trust Him, just totally focus on Him and what He has for her, and some of the things she's been through aren't at all ideal. But she continues to trust Him. She sees the journey that He has for her. As she was saying all of this I was thinking about what I could do on mission trips during school breaks and after I get out of college to help the people she was talking about, and then I started thinking about how confining school seemed. It just seems like I will never be able to do very much, at least while I'm in school, because I am always stressed about doing good and that leaves me no time and I also worry that I won't be smart enough. Then God started telling me how this is part of my mission. Doing good in these classes will someday help someone who is sick. He also reminded me that He called me to be a nurse. He will pull me through even if I'm not smart enough because he is smart enough and that's all that matters. I am living out God's perfect plan for my life now. I don't have to wait until I get out of college to start my life calling. I am continually in the journey.

I know

So I'm really excited because I know that this school is where God wants me to be. I knew that but I was kind of wondering why, and last night God showed me. It was about 1:15 and I was still lying in my bed wishing I could just go to sleep when I heard a nock on the door. One of our unit leaders came in and said put on jeans, a sweatshirt and tennis shoes. My roomie and I both thought we knew what was going to happen. We thought they were going to make us go out and do something REALLY stupid to initiate us. I was ok I can deal with this because I knew it would probably happen, due to rumors all over campus. Well we went into our lounge and were blindfolded and led to a car. The car ride was about 10 minutes and I had scenarios running through my head about what they were going to do to us. We arrived at our destination, got out of the cars and took our blindfolds off. There was about 100 girls standing around and we were at a park. Our leader came up and handcuffed us to the other people that were in our car and we proceeded to walk down to this little pond. Our resident director shared how they felt like God was calling them to have a ceremony to meet God face-to-face and be set free from bondage. A couple of the unit leaders shared some specific areas where they were in bondage and he is setting them free. Then we sat there and searched our hearts for the things we hadn't yet given up and wrote them on a piece of paper and put them in a bucket of red water sybolizing Christ's blood. After all of that we had an hour long worship service. It was amazing just to be able to seek and praise God at 2 in the morning under His stars! I am so thankful for my resident director because she initiated us into something of worth, not just a dorm but a family of believers who want to know us, love us and see us grow.