Good times

So I just want to say that I have an amazing floor to live on. This past week we did "hardcore week" where we basically get up at the buttcrack of dawn and work out. We would go to all our meals together and have devotions at night. Along with all of that we gave up T.V., IM, junk food, secular music, facebook and then something of our choice or we could challenge ourselves to do something. I gave up reading fiction. It was really hard! I was three chapters away from the end of "Redeeming Love". Yeah let me just tell you about that! Other than all the community building and fun we had, which was amazing, it was a struggle for me. I had a really hard time thinking about it as a time to get closer to God, without all those distractions, rather than just a time of giving up all those things. It was actually a really bad week for me in that sense. I don't know why I had such a hard time with this week. It wasn't that I couldn't keep my cimmitments, it was that I didn't want to seek God in it. I hated that, and I didn't really feel worthy of participating because I felt like I was doing it for the wrong reasons. After we broke our fast, by eating a bunch of junk food and watching a movie, I went to my room for the long-awaited-for last three chapters of my book. I sat down to read and it was about how unconditional God's love is and how he wants me in no matter what state I'm in. It was so refreshing and encouraging. Even though I feel like I missed out on one very important piece of this week, I also know in that God let me experience His unconditional love. I'm glad because it's one of those things I know is true but don't always feel is true, and now I know it in my heart.